Archive for June, 2009

Week 35 Patterns

June 30, 2009 Leave a comment

: ))
Like attracts like

Like attracts like. People who spend their time feeling fearful attract fearful events into their lives. People who spend their time feeling happy attract happy events.

People are like tuning forks – the frequency they vibrate at activates other things vibrating at that frequency. The feelings you feel create a resonance that will attract people, things and situations that resonate at the same frequency.

Does this mean bad things never happen to happy people? No; but notice how they respond to bad things. Don’t like the things you’ve been attracting? Change how you feel. What you focus on increases (focus equals thought plus emotion). Practice feeling happy, and you will attract happy events. Practice feeling wealthy and you will attract wealth.

Emotions are amplifiers. Like attracts like.

What will you do when you have enough ______?

Necessity is a powerful driver. In fact, many people are so driven by what they feel they have to do, that they don’t focus on what they want to do. What will you do when you have enough money? This is often a brand new area for someone to explore, and can bring up a powerful sense of possibility. What will you do when you have enough time? 

You’re interested in [benefit], aren’t you?

You’re interested in becoming irresistibly influential, aren’t you? One of the keys is to guide people’s awareness where you want it to go, starting with the issues, wants or needs you’re going to address, and the specific benefits they will get. You’re interested in having more free time, aren’t you? You’re interested in increasing your inc^me, aren’t you? It has the added bonus of getting people comfortable with responding “yes” to the things you say, and you’re interested in people saying yes to you, aren’t you?     

People can, [name], ____.

Which people specifically? Why you of course. People can, Peter, relax deeply. People can, Jane, imagine being fit and healthy. People can, Emma, learn these patterns thoroughly.

Categories: Uncategorized

Week 34 Patterns

June 27, 2009 Leave a comment

You may already be aware of [benefit] when you _____.

You may already be aware of it, and you may not. Either way, I’m presupposing the “it” is true. You may already be aware of our award-winning customer service you get when you become our client. You may already be aware of the sense of accomplishment you’ll get when you do this job. You may already be aware of the amazing results you’re going to get when you master this pattern.      
People can ____ because…

Which people? People like you. And why? Because they’ve got a reason to. People can go into a deep trance because it’s a natural state of consciousness. People can discover powerful inner resources because your unconscious is a storehouse of memories, learnings and possibilities. People can practice these patterns thoroughly because practice is the mother of all skill.

: ))
You create your experience of reality

You create your experience of reality. Does this mean that if you slip on a banana skin, you created the banana skin? No. But it does mean that you created the circumstances where you could slip on it.

Does this mean that everything bad that ever happened to you is your fault? No. But your experience of reality is your responsibility. If you slip on a banana skin, you can choose the role of victim (I am being punished by the universe / Why me? / Which *&$%£ left that there) or as a responsible adult (What can I learn from this? / How can I avoid this happening again? ).

It’s up to you – what the thinker thinks, the prover proves. Experience shows that people who take responsibility for their experiences are happier, more successful and more fulfilled. But it does come at a price. You need to give up being a victim (if you have not already done so).

Either way, it’s up to you. You create your own experience of reality.

What’s the worst thing for you about that?

Like a scalpel, or dynamite, this question should be used very carefully, and only when there is strong rapport between coach and client. It uncovers the ‘negative’ feelings that drive fears, worries and compulsions. When they are brought into consciousness and accepted, the results can be liberating. What do you want? “To be an artist.” What stops you? “My parents would be disappointed in me.” And what would be the worst thing for you about that? “Feeling I’d let them down.” And what would be the worst thing for you about that? When the feelings come up, help the person to accept them.

Categories: Uncategorized

Week 33 – Patterns

June 16, 2009 Leave a comment

How do you know when to [problem or challenge]?

People are patterned in their thinking and behaviour, and those patterns have a beginning, middle and an end. You can uncover the steps in the process, then use that information to change the process. “I want to stop procrastinating.” How do you know when to procrastinate? “I want to go to the gym, but I always change my mind and watch TV.” How do you know when to change your mind? Most people have never thought about this, and it can help to get more specific about when the process starts, and how it works. 

This may not be relevant to you, but [benefit].

When I say this may not be relevant to you, you start to pay close attention so you can check whether it is or not. Plus, if I say it may not be relevant, some people go “Oh yeah? Maybe it is relevant!” This may not be relevant to you, but our clients typically get 20% more sales by using our services. This may not be relevant to you, but studies show that when you buy this car, you’re getting the safest vehicle on the road. This may not be relevant to you, but our research suggests that people become far more influential when they use these cards regularly.       

People are able to ____.

I’m not saying which people, but your unconscious is likely to assume I’m talking about you. People are able to imagine innovative solutions to their own problems. People are able to enjoy eating when they’re hungry and stopping when they’re full. People are able to find fun ways to use these patterns in conversations.

: ))
There is no good reason to be unhappy.

“Nonsense!” I hear you shout. “What about death, war, famine and the like?” Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s important to feel your feelings. In fact, you can feel good about feeling your feelings – many people are numb to them.

But some people believe the only response to certain events is to be angry, frightened, or unhappy. If you are unhappy about something, you can ask youself “What would it mean if I were not unhappy about this?” This question challenges the belief that unhappiness is the only appropriate response and opens the mind to alternatives.

It might even be instructive to consider the possibility that happiness is your ‘default’ setting; that behind all the struggle and striving is a core state of happiness, waiting patiently for you to relax back into it.

Confused? What would it mean if you were OK with that? There is no good reason to be unhappy.

Categories: Uncategorized

Week 32 – Patterns

June 9, 2009 Leave a comment

By now, _____.

“By” is such an ambiguous word, and so perfectly suited for sales. By now, you can recognise what makes our proposal so compelling. By now, you’re probably beginning to imagine how impressed your colleagues are going to be. By now, you may already have started to think of all the ways you can feel good spending the money we’re going to save you. Bye now!         

: ))
There is only one problem, and it doesn’t exist

There is only one problem, and it doesn’t exist. The one problem is the idea that there are problems; that all is not well.

Just like something only becomes a piece of art when someone puts a frame around it, something only becomes a problem when someone describes it as such. The basic structure of a problem is this “Things are not as they are meant to be, and I cannot be happy until they are put right.” But this is a lie.

It is possible to be happy, regardless of the situation; start by accepting the reality of the current situation. This is not to say there is no room for improvement. There are many things in the world which can be improved, many situations which can be bettered, and if you want to do so, I suggest you do. But start from the position of knowing that everything is already OK.

What you focus on increases, and your ability to create the external circumstances of wellbeing start on the inside, knowing that all is well, that there is nothing to fear.

There is only one problem, and it doesn’t exist.

One of the things ____ is …

When I mention one of the things, it presupposes that there are others. One of the things you can enjoy about going into a trance is the sense of comfort and relaxation you’ll feel. One of the things you’ll appreciate about having resolved those issues is just how good you’ll feel.  One of the things you’ll laugh about once you learn these patterns is just how much fun you can have using them.

What happens when you imagine ______?

This question is subtle yet powerful. It is actually an invitation for someone to imagine something they may not previously have thought of. What happens when you imagine yourself being independently wealthy? In order to answer the question, you have to imagine it, and a new possibility has entered your consciousness. What happens when you imagine yourself using these questions elegantly?

Categories: Uncategorized

Week 31 – Patterns

June 2, 2009 Leave a comment

…I ask “” but…

Just like you can embed commands, you can also embed questions. Just take the yes/no question you would like to ask and embed it in a larger sentence. If you’re in rapport, they’ll respond to the embedded question with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ signal. With some people I just ask “Are you ready to close the deal now?” but with other people I wait for them to tell me more about their needs. Sometimes when I meet someone new I ask “Would you like to go on a date with me?” but with other people I wait and see. If they respond when you ask the ’embedded question’, you’ve got your answer.        

One can, [name], ____.

One can, can one? Of course. And when you use their name just before you embed the command, it makes it all the more powerful. One can, Bill, connect with these learnings at a deep level. One can, Carol, feel satisfied with what’s been accomplished. One can, Sue, have a great deal of fun with these patterns.

: ))
You are already here

You are already here. The place you thought you’d get to once you’d made the changes, achieved the goals, completed the journey; you’re already here. You never left!

The only thing that has ever stopped you from experiencing the reality of being here is the idea that you need to be somewhere else. The only thing that is (or can) stop you from experiencing the peace and fulfillment of now is the idea that you need to be somewhere else.

But you don’t.

You’re here, and you always have been. You’re here, and you always will be. So you can stop struggling, relax, and feel a sense of comfort in the knowledge that you are already here.  

Do you like to ______?

Do you like to feel good? Rhetorical questions are questions that don’t require an answer, but generate ‘yes’ responses. Use them to get people saying ‘yes’ from the outset. Do you like to find solutions to your problems? Do you like to enjoy yourself? Once they start saying yes, they’re more likely to keep saying yes, which can be useful for getting someone to move in the right direction. Do you like to learn easily?

Categories: Uncategorized