Inner peace, & its close relations (joy, freedom, love, serenity etc) are what every person ultimately desires. These are the ‘goals behind the goals’ that people are searching for (even if they don’t realise it yet.) There is a quick & simple way for you to bring all of these into your life:

Make inner peace your primary goal.

Now, does this mean you have to go around being ‘peaceful’ & serene all over the place? No. Does it mean you can’t have any other goals? No – just don’t become attached to them. Know that your happiness and wellbeing is not dependant on them.

It just means that, in any situation, your goal is peace. Whenever there is a choice, you choose inner peace.

Does this mean no more conflict with others? No, quite possibly the opposite. But if inner peace is your goal, then you will find yourself experiencing more & more peace in every situation.

Make peace your goal.

Coaching
______, isn’t it? [aren't they, can't you etc]

This is called a tag question, and it’s a great way of building agreement, because it’s very tough to disagree with…isn’t it? Part of the coaching process involves guiding someone’s thinking in a certain direction. And it’s good to have tools to do that with, isn’t it? You can enjoy looking forward to achieving this goal, can’t you? Use a slow head-nod and descending voice tone to make it more irresistible. It’s fun to imagine using this question effortlessly, isn’t it? 

Influence
As you sit here, listening to me, you might _____.

“As you sit here, listening to me”. These words register as ‘true’ the moment you say them (assuming the person you’re speaking to is sitting down). This is a great way to smoothly guide someone’s attention in a certain direction. As you sit here, listening to me, you might already have started to feel how great it will be to have this problem resolved, once and for all. As you sit here, listening to me, you might like to think about what you’re going to do with all the money you’ll save by switching to our service. The great thing is, when you say “you might”, it’s tough to disagree with, because after all, you might, mightn’t you?

Sometimes it can be useful to soften your suggestions, and this is one way to do it. I would like to suggest that you remember what you wanted when you started this business. I would like to suggest that you take a moment to imagine how you would feel if you were financialIy independent. I would like to suggest that you study the literature I’ve given you. I’m not telling you to do anything, I’m just explaining what I would like.

: ))
Awaken from the dream.

Who you really are, the you that is happy, joyous and free has been asleep, and dreaming dreams of fear, lack and not-enough-ness.

But you are enough. You are already perfect, so you don’t need to change yourself. Your dreams of the you you’d like to be – you are already that person.

Wake up to the reality of who you are. Focus on that you, and know that is your true nature.

Love yourself back to reality, and awaken from the dream.

Coaching
Just how much ______ can you stand?

This question presupposes that the good someone has in their life has not been limited by supply, but rather by what they’ve been able to receive. This challenges the person to stretch their boundaries! Just how much pleasure can you stand? When you ask the question, the person starts imagining positive extremes. Just how much success can you stand? To quote Oliver Wendell Holmes – “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.” Just how much happiness can you stand? 

Hypnosis
You might ____.

You might do this or you might do that. I’m not telling you what to do, just what might transpire. You might start to find a new way of perceiving this situation. You might see a new direction opening up in front of you. You might find yourself repeating these patterns as you sleep and dream.

If you’re not sure what you’ve been thinking, have a look around. What you focus on increases, so whatever has been showing up over time is what you’ve been focusing on. And if it’s been going on for a while, you’ve probably become familiar with it (people like what’s familiar).

Of course, your actions will give you clues to what you believe, too. If you think you are a fountain of abundance, but notice that the credit card bills are sitting unopened by the phone for days on end, your behaviour is telling you what you really think.

And your thoughts become your reality.

Coaching:
I’m not going to ask you “[yes/no question]” because…

Sometimes people ‘pretend’ something has ‘worked’ when it hasn’t. You can covertly ask a person’s unconscious mind for an honest response. Just put the yes/no question you would like to ask in a larger sentence. If you’re in rapport, they’ll respond to the embedded question with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ signal (E.g. Head-nodding). I’m not going to ask you “Will you do this every day?” because that’s your choice. I’m not going to ask you “Will you do the things you’ve agreed to do?” because that’s your business. Notice how they respond to the ‘embedded question’. 

Influence
We’ve _____, and _____, and _____, so _____.

I call this the ‘mini review’, and it’s one of the simplest most effective ways of pacing and leading I know. You merely state some facts about what you’ve done so far with a person, then add in a suggestion. You’ve been explaining what you need, and I’ve told you how we’ve helped other clients, and we’ve looked at possible solutions, so you’re probably wondering how soon we can get our team in here and start making a difference. You’ve described your situation, and I’ve told you about me, and we’ve reviewed the options open to you, so by now you’re probably ready to choose the one you want.

Hypnosis
You may notice ____ as you ____.

You may notice it, or you may not, but as you do whatever’s been suggested, you’ll probably be looking for it. You may notice a sense of anticipation as you start to relax. You may notice the sensations in your hands as you allow yourself to go inside. You may notice certain feelings as you become determined to learn these patterns thoroughly.

It’s happening – it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re aware of it. Of course if you really want to find out, you need to do what follows the “as you”. You may be aware of the sound of my voice as you slip into a trance. You may be aware of sensations in your body as you relax even more deeply. You may be aware of a sense of enjoyment as you continue practicing these patterns.

Influence
It’s good that _____.

When I say that something’s good, it presupposes it’s true. And if it’s something your involved in, the fact that it’s good is rather satisfying, isn’t it? It’s good that you’ve had the foresight to involve our company at this point. It’s good that you’ve decided to make a commitment to your financial independence. It’s good that you’ve chosen to increase your linguistic flexibility. Well done!

: ))
How much would you do for someone you really love?

How much would you do for someone you really love? How far would you go for someone you think is wonderful? I often challenge people to stand in front of a mirror and say “I love you” and “I love myself”, then accept the thoughts and feelings that come up. I suggest that they do it until they really love themselves.

Many people protest, but my reasoning is simple: How much would you do for someone you dislike? The answer is typically “Not much.” They certainly wouldn’t go to the gym for them, show them they love them, and change the way they think for the better. If you didn’t like yourself, you probably wouldn’t do much to create a wonderful, joyful, nurturing life for yourself.

Fortunately, the fact that you’re reading this tip at all means that on some level, you must already like yourself rather a lot. So, how much would you do for someone you really love?

Coaching
Are you sure enough to be unsure?

Sometimes people are sure about things which aren’t useful to them. “I know I can never be happy.” Are you sure? “Yes, perfectly sure!” Are you sure enough to be unsure? This question uses a person’s certainty against itself, to re-open the process of possibility. After they go into a slightly confused state, you can guide their attention in a new direction (E.g. How would you know if that wasn’t true?)

When I say you may have started to notice, you check to find out if you have or not, and while you’re checking, it’s so tempting to just accept what follows the “as you”. You may already have started to notice the changes in your physical sensations as you allow yourself to relax into a trance. You may already have started to notice the changes in your depth of trance as you focus on the feeling of going deeper.

: ))
You were born perfect, complete and whole.

What changed?!?

Nothing. The reality of who you are has never changed. You are still that perfect child of the universe. What did happen is that you learned stories. Stories about who you are, the way the world is, and where you fit. One of the stories you may have learned is that you were not OK, but that if you changed in some way, achieved certain things, or got approval from certain people, that you would become OK. That you would then be healed and whole. But they’re just stories. They’re not true.

You’re not broken, and you never were. The perfect, complete and whole you is still there, like the blue sky behind the clouds. You can’t improve on perfection, but you can stop believing the lies about who you are. Instead, you can choose to believe in your perfect nature, and awaken to the reality of who you really are.

Say “I am an abundant child of the universe, powerful beyond measure”, then accept the thoughts and feelings which arise. What you focus on increases, so how much can you increase your awareness of your perfect nature? After all, you were born perfect, complete and whole

Coaching:
Why do you want that?

Legend has it that the question ‘why’ used to be banned in NLP circles, but it can be useful for discovering someone’s motivation for something. “I want a new car.” Why do you want that? “So I can feel good about myself.” Maybe there’s an easier, less expensive way that will actually work! Have you considered just feeling good about yourself regardless of what you drive? 

Influence
Has it ever occurred to you that _____?

Has it ever occurred to you? If it hadn’t, it has now. Has it ever occurred to you that you could be sitting on a goldmine? Has it ever occurred to you that, by making a few simple changes, your business could become the market leader? Has it ever occurred to you that you have the potential to be one of the most influential people in your profession?

When I say I wouldn’t advise you to do something that would benefit me, it makes me seem more credible. Meanwhile, I can embed a command telling you to do what I say I’m not advising. Finally, I hit you with the “until” statement that presupposes you’re going to end up doing it anyway. Holy moly! I wouldn’t advise you to place your order with us until you fully satisfy yourself that we can provide you with exactly what you want. I wouldn’t advise you to book a place on this seminar until you feel comfortable that this is a great investment for you.

: ))
You cannot worry your way to happiness

We like what’s familiar, and today is practice for tomorrow. If you practice worry, fear and anxiety, you’ll get better at them. Sadly, practicing these robs the present moment of happiness and joy.

Instead, practice being happy, joyous and free. What you focus on increases, so become aware of your thinking. As soon as you notice yourself thinking frightening thoughts, change to something positive.

An excellent thing to change to is gratitude. When you focus on what you are grateful for, your sense of the fullness and abundance of life will increase. If you believe you have nothing to feel grateful for, stop and hold your breath for as long as you can; then hold it a bit longer. When you breathe again, notice the feeling of gratitude for the air. When you are accomplished at feeling grateful for the air that you breathe, you can move on to the other wonders your life abounds with.

Whenever you catch yourself indulging in worry, fear or anxiety, stop and practice gratitude instead. You cannot worry your way to happiness.

Coaching
If you had to teach me how to [problem], how would I do it?

This question elicits the structure of a problem, and reframes them from victim to expert. If you had to teach me how to be disorganised, how would I do it? You can even throw in some deliberate mistakes for them to correct. If you had to teach me how to have that airplane phobia, how would I do it? Would you just get me to freak out as soon as I reached the departure lounge? “No, silly.You have to wait until the door’s closed – then you start picturing the bolts that hold the wings on.”

Hypnosis
You may already have started to become aware of ____.

You may already have started, or you may be about to, and having started, its presumed you’ll continue. You may already have started to become aware of certain changes in your moment-to-moment perception. You may already have started to become aware of the slowing and deepening of your breathing. You may already have started to become aware of the increasing of your skill in these patternings.

: )) You deserve great things, so become willing to receive. How do I know? Great question. Life is an amazing thing. When you stop for a moment and think about it, despite all the pain and sorrow it can entail, life is awesome. You were deserving enough of life to be given that, so anything you might want while you’re here is a mere trifle in comparison. The universe gives you all that it gives you without condition (your life, your breath, the gravity that holds you to the earth). In fact, you could even take the view that the universe has been throwing good stuff at you your whole life, and the only thing that’s stopped you from having it is that you’ve been unwilling to receive it. Tell yourself “I am willing to receive all the good that comes to me”, then accept any thoughts and feelings which arise. You deserve great things, so become willing to receive. Coaching How do you manage to [problem or challenge]? When a person takes personal responsibility for their situation, they begin to access the power to change it. This question presupposes that an issue or problem is actually a skill that they’ve acquired. How do you manage to get frightened of public speaking? How do you manage to stay in debt? If they accept that it’s a skill, then it’s possible for them to learn a different skill – one that contains the solution. Influence I’d like to show you how _____. It’s not an order, I’m just telling you what I’d like to do. I’d like to show you how you can create an extra eight hours a week for doing things you enjoy. I’d like to show you how you can save 50% on your utility bills, every single month. I’d like to show you how you can enjoy becoming exquisitely skilled at persuasion and influence, just by playing cards. Hypnosis You may ____. I’m not saying you will, just that you may. You may notice some changes in the focus of your eyes as you listen to me. You may start to feel the weight of your eyelids. You may learn these patterns in many different ways.

Life is an amazing thing. When you stop for a moment and think about it, despite all the pain and sorrow it can entail, life is awesome. You were deserving enough of life to be given that, so anything you might want while you’re here is a mere trifle in comparison.

The universe gives you all that it gives you without condition (your life, your breath, the gravity that holds you to the earth). In fact, you could even take the view that the universe has been throwing good stuff at you your whole life, and the only thing that’s stopped you from having it is that you’ve been unwilling to receive it.

Tell yourself “I am willing to receive all the good that comes to me”, then accept any thoughts and feelings which arise. You deserve great things, so become willing to receive.

Coaching
How do you manage to [problem or challenge]?

When a person takes personal responsibility for their situation, they begin to access the power to change it. This question presupposes that an issue or problem is actually a skill that they’ve acquired. How do you manage to get frightened of public speaking? How do you manage to stay in debt? If they accept that it’s a skill, then it’s possible for them to learn a different skill – one that contains the solution.

Influence
I’d like to show you how _____.

It’s not an order, I’m just telling you what I’d like to do. I’d like to show you how you can create an extra eight hours a week for doing things you enjoy. I’d like to show you how you can save 50% on your utility bills, every single month. I’d like to show you how you can enjoy becoming exquisitely skilled at persuasion and influence, just by playing cards.

Hypnosis
You may ____.

I’m not saying you will, just that you may. You may notice some changes in the focus of your eyes as you listen to me. You may start to feel the weight of your eyelids. You may learn these patterns in many different ways.

It’s good to prepare yourself before coaching someone else. A great way to do this is to say a positive affirmation, then accept whatever thoughts and feelings come up. I am a skilled and effective coach. Say it once then sit for a moment, noticing and accepting your thoughts and feelings. Of course, you can use this for anything, and even teach your clients to do it too. I am relaxed and focused. Acceptance is the key – in fact, it’s really useful to accept your client exactly as they are. (You can set them a good example by accepting yourself exactly as you are, first).

Hypnosis
Your conscious mind ____, but your unconscious ____.

It’s good to explain the difference between the conscious mind and your unconscious. And your unconscious is such a lovely ambiguity. Your conscious mind can pay attention to a few things, but your unconscious can pay attention to everything. Your conscious mind is listening to my words, but your unconscious is listening to how I am saying them. Your conscious mind is trying to make sense of these patterns, but your unconscious now is already integrating
them at a deep level.

Influence
_____, I just STOP & I say to yourself “_____”.

When people think they know what’s coming, people often don’t listen closely. This pattern takes advantage of that fact, and is great if someone’s a bit ‘tranced out’ by what you’ve been saying already. When I’m in a situation like yours, I just STOP and I say to yourself “Stop messing about and make a decision”. At this point, once I’ve been through the figures, I just STOP and I say to yourself “It’s time to sign on the dotted line”. The “STOP” is a pattern interrupt, and creates an opening for you to send their internal dialogue in a new direction. Cool eh?

: )
Focus on the ‘what’, and the ‘how’ will be taken care of

Focus on the ‘what’, and the ‘how’ will be taken care of. Remember, you are more than you think you are.

When you focus (thought plus emotion) on what you want, with a positive expectation of success, you activate the power of your unconscious mind, and the ‘hows’ start showing up, often without you even trying to figure them out.

This is not to say you won’t need to do anything, but you can relax, detach from outcome, and trust your intuitive impulses about what to do. I used to think of something really cool I wanted to have, do, create or be, then I’d immediately start thinking of all the reasons it wouldn’t work, and that I didn’t know how to do it etc.

This was just fear, and there is nothing to fear! Like attracts like, so start feeling how you’ll feel when what you want is already here. Focus on the ‘what’ and the ‘how’ will be taken care of.

When you add “can you not” to the end of a sentence, you can agree with it more easily, can you not? You can feel parts of your body beginning to relax, can you not? You can remember certain pleasant experiences, can you not? You can imagine using these patterns in many future situations, can you not?

: )) – The universe wants you to be happy, joyous and free

The universe wants you to be happy, joyous and free. It’s official (remember, what the thinker thinks, the prover proves). If you choose to believe this, then it follows that anything less than happiness, joy and freedom is not the universe’s will for you.

What happens when you decide to let the universe have it’s way today, and choose to be happy, even if you haven’t got a good reason for doing so? Who said you need a reason, anyway? Happiness is your birthright, like the air that you breathe. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be happy.

I used to think that I couldn’t be happy until I’d sorted out all the things that made me unhappy. Then someone told me “Just decide to be happy – make up your mind to be.” (Remember, what you focus on increases). This may take some practice at first, but it will lavishly repay your efforts. And it doesn’t cost any extra! After all, the universe wants you to be happy, joyous and free.

Influence:
I wonder whether you are aware of ____.

When I wonder whether you are aware of something, it guides your awareness in that direction. If you are aware of it, great! Now you’re thinking about it. If you’re not aware of it, even better, because now you’re curious. I wonder whether you’re aware of the vast fortune that a person can make by investing with our company. I wonder whether you’re aware of the huge amounts of money businesses waste on advertising that never gives a return on investment. I wonder whether you’re aware of the awesome power of the human brain, and how the ability to learn rapidly is your birthright.

Coaching
So you believe ______.

Rapport is crucial for effective coaching. While there are many ways to get rapport physically, you can also get it verbally. When a client says something they think is true and you think is unhelpful, it can be useful to repeat it back in a matter of fact way, but without saying it’s true. “I’m a failure.” So you believe you’re a failure. Sometimes people will respond “I don’t believe it – I know it!” This is great, because then you can ask (in a spirit of genuine enquiry), Hmm…I’m wondering, how do you know?

Now is a powerful word, because it brings a person’s attention into the present moment. Its particularly useful when you want someone to take action now. I’m just calling to find out when now would be a good time for us to put a date in the diary and meet up. I was wondering when now would be a good time for you to tidy your room. The phrasing’s a little bit odd, but people don’t seem to notice. And if they do, just say “Never mind”. I’m not sure when now would be a good time to practice this pattern. How about now?

: )
You are here for a reason; you have a purpose

You are here for a reason; you have a purpose. The universe is a complex, dynamic system, and every element of it plays a crucial part (including you). You may not know consciously what your part is yet you have one nevertheless.

As you begin to discover what your purpose is, you can organize your life around it – you will be ‘on your path’ (you’re on your path anyway, but it’s more fun when you’re doing it consciously). Every human being has unique gifts to give to the world, regardless of whether they know this fact or not.

I once heard someone describe three clues to what your purpose is: One – it’s reasonable (if you hate math, your life’s purpose is probably not going to be accountancy), two – it’s possible (if it cannot be done, you don’t have to do it. Having said that, assume that anything’s possible – you’ll find out soon enough if it’s not!) and three – it’s probably staring you right in the face.

It may even be something you’re already involved in, or have always dreamed of doing. Take whatever time it takes to discover what your purpose is, then go for it. You are here for a reason; you have a purpose.

Coaching
The fact that ______ means ______.

This is fantastic for setting a positive frame at the start of a coaching session. The fact that you’re here means that you can make whatever changes you wish. The fact that you’re listening to me means that you can achieve all your goals. It doesn’t even have to be strictly logical! The fact that you’re reading this card means that you’re going to be amazed at the extraordinary degree of skill you’re already starting to learn! 

Hypnosis
Will you ____ or ____ or ____?

So many choices, which one to choose? Either way, the bases are all covered. Will you go into a trance right away, or will you go into a trance later, or will you just notice yourself beginning to relax?