Week 52 Patterns

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Make peace your goal.

Inner peace, & its close relations (joy, freedom, love, serenity etc) are what every person ultimately desires. These are the ‘goals behind the goals’ that people are searching for (even if they don’t realise it yet.) There is a quick & simple way for you to bring all of these into your life:

Make inner peace your primary goal.

Now, does this mean you have to go around being ‘peaceful’ & serene all over the place? No. Does it mean you can’t have any other goals? No – just don’t become attached to them. Know that your happiness and wellbeing is not dependant on them.

It just means that, in any situation, your goal is peace. Whenever there is a choice, you choose inner peace.

Does this mean no more conflict with others? No, quite possibly the opposite. But if inner peace is your goal, then you will find yourself experiencing more & more peace in every situation.

Make peace your goal.

Coaching
______, isn’t it? [aren't they, can't you etc]

This is called a tag question, and it’s a great way of building agreement, because it’s very tough to disagree with…isn’t it? Part of the coaching process involves guiding someone’s thinking in a certain direction. And it’s good to have tools to do that with, isn’t it? You can enjoy looking forward to achieving this goal, can’t you? Use a slow head-nod and descending voice tone to make it more irresistible. It’s fun to imagine using this question effortlessly, isn’t it? 

Influence
As you sit here, listening to me, you might _____.

“As you sit here, listening to me”. These words register as ‘true’ the moment you say them (assuming the person you’re speaking to is sitting down). This is a great way to smoothly guide someone’s attention in a certain direction. As you sit here, listening to me, you might already have started to feel how great it will be to have this problem resolved, once and for all. As you sit here, listening to me, you might like to think about what you’re going to do with all the money you’ll save by switching to our service. The great thing is, when you say “you might”, it’s tough to disagree with, because after all, you might, mightn’t you?

Week 51- Patterns

Influence
I would like to suggest that _____.

Sometimes it can be useful to soften your suggestions, and this is one way to do it. I would like to suggest that you remember what you wanted when you started this business. I would like to suggest that you take a moment to imagine how you would feel if you were financialIy independent. I would like to suggest that you study the literature I’ve given you. I’m not telling you to do anything, I’m just explaining what I would like.

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Awaken from the dream.

Who you really are, the you that is happy, joyous and free has been asleep, and dreaming dreams of fear, lack and not-enough-ness.

But you are enough. You are already perfect, so you don’t need to change yourself. Your dreams of the you you’d like to be – you are already that person.

Wake up to the reality of who you are. Focus on that you, and know that is your true nature.

Love yourself back to reality, and awaken from the dream.

Coaching
Just how much ______ can you stand?

This question presupposes that the good someone has in their life has not been limited by supply, but rather by what they’ve been able to receive. This challenges the person to stretch their boundaries! Just how much pleasure can you stand? When you ask the question, the person starts imagining positive extremes. Just how much success can you stand? To quote Oliver Wendell Holmes – “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.” Just how much happiness can you stand? 

Hypnosis
You might ____.

You might do this or you might do that. I’m not telling you what to do, just what might transpire. You might start to find a new way of perceiving this situation. You might see a new direction opening up in front of you. You might find yourself repeating these patterns as you sleep and dream.

Week 50 – Patterns

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Your thoughts become your reality.

If you’re not sure what you’ve been thinking, have a look around. What you focus on increases, so whatever has been showing up over time is what you’ve been focusing on. And if it’s been going on for a while, you’ve probably become familiar with it (people like what’s familiar).

Of course, your actions will give you clues to what you believe, too. If you think you are a fountain of abundance, but notice that the credit card bills are sitting unopened by the phone for days on end, your behaviour is telling you what you really think.

And your thoughts become your reality.

Coaching:
I’m not going to ask you “[yes/no question]” because…

Sometimes people ‘pretend’ something has ‘worked’ when it hasn’t. You can covertly ask a person’s unconscious mind for an honest response. Just put the yes/no question you would like to ask in a larger sentence. If you’re in rapport, they’ll respond to the embedded question with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ signal (E.g. Head-nodding). I’m not going to ask you “Will you do this every day?” because that’s your choice. I’m not going to ask you “Will you do the things you’ve agreed to do?” because that’s your business. Notice how they respond to the ‘embedded question’. 

Influence
We’ve _____, and _____, and _____, so _____.

I call this the ‘mini review’, and it’s one of the simplest most effective ways of pacing and leading I know. You merely state some facts about what you’ve done so far with a person, then add in a suggestion. You’ve been explaining what you need, and I’ve told you how we’ve helped other clients, and we’ve looked at possible solutions, so you’re probably wondering how soon we can get our team in here and start making a difference. You’ve described your situation, and I’ve told you about me, and we’ve reviewed the options open to you, so by now you’re probably ready to choose the one you want.

Hypnosis
You may notice ____ as you ____.

You may notice it, or you may not, but as you do whatever’s been suggested, you’ll probably be looking for it. You may notice a sense of anticipation as you start to relax. You may notice the sensations in your hands as you allow yourself to go inside. You may notice certain feelings as you become determined to learn these patterns thoroughly.

Week 49 – Patterns

Hypnosis
You may be aware of ____ as you ____.

It’s happening – it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re aware of it. Of course if you really want to find out, you need to do what follows the “as you”. You may be aware of the sound of my voice as you slip into a trance. You may be aware of sensations in your body as you relax even more deeply. You may be aware of a sense of enjoyment as you continue practicing these patterns.

Influence
It’s good that _____.

When I say that something’s good, it presupposes it’s true. And if it’s something your involved in, the fact that it’s good is rather satisfying, isn’t it? It’s good that you’ve had the foresight to involve our company at this point. It’s good that you’ve decided to make a commitment to your financial independence. It’s good that you’ve chosen to increase your linguistic flexibility. Well done!

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How much would you do for someone you really love?

How much would you do for someone you really love? How far would you go for someone you think is wonderful? I often challenge people to stand in front of a mirror and say “I love you” and “I love myself”, then accept the thoughts and feelings that come up. I suggest that they do it until they really love themselves.

Many people protest, but my reasoning is simple: How much would you do for someone you dislike? The answer is typically “Not much.” They certainly wouldn’t go to the gym for them, show them they love them, and change the way they think for the better. If you didn’t like yourself, you probably wouldn’t do much to create a wonderful, joyful, nurturing life for yourself.

Fortunately, the fact that you’re reading this tip at all means that on some level, you must already like yourself rather a lot. So, how much would you do for someone you really love?

Coaching
Are you sure enough to be unsure?

Sometimes people are sure about things which aren’t useful to them. “I know I can never be happy.” Are you sure? “Yes, perfectly sure!” Are you sure enough to be unsure? This question uses a person’s certainty against itself, to re-open the process of possibility. After they go into a slightly confused state, you can guide their attention in a new direction (E.g. How would you know if that wasn’t true?)