Week 21 – Patterns

Coaching

This week’s pattern is:

How will [goal] affect the wider systems you belong to?

No-one is an island. People belong to wider systems, and it’s good to know how a change will affect those systems. How will becoming slim, fit & healthy affect the wider systems you belong to? Your family? Your friends? Your job? How will starting your own business affect your family? How will becoming wealthy affect your friendships? The effect may be completely positive – it’s good to find out one way or another. How will learning these questions affect the wider systems you belong to? 

 
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Feelings don’t mean anything.

Feelings are a combination of the tensing and relaxing of muscles, releases of neurochemicals, and electrical impulses; any meanings they have for you are just stories you’ve made up. This means that feelings are nothing to be afraid of – you can feel them and survive.

Having said all this, feelings are important, and it’s important that people feel them, because they can be messengers. I used to feel nauseous every time I bought a management book. I kept on buying them, but would never read them. Then one day, I thought “Maybe that sick feeling is a message that these are no longer relevant to me.” I stopped buying them, and I’ve felt fine ever since.

Sometimes people try and avoid a feeling because they think that if they felt it, something bad would happen. Ironically, the feeling they are avoiding is exactly the one their body wants to feel! When you feel it, you can relax and move on. And you can feel excited about feeling the feelings you’ve been avoiding, because they’re a doorway to growth and development, and feelings don’t mean anything.      

Influence
If _____ then _____. Does that seem fair enough?

If X happens, then Y will happen. It’s just logic. And it’s so comforting to know that the universe is logical, isn’t it? If you find a vehicle that meets your criteria, then you can drive it home this afternoon. Does that seem fair enough? If we present a proposal that addresses your key issues at the right price, then I’m going to ask you to sign the contract. Does that seem fair enough? The beauty of this is it gets a commitment right at the outset. People like to remain consistent with their previous statements, so it ups the odds of them going your way. If you feel that this pattern makes sense then I’m going to ask you to use it in the next 24 hours. Does that seem fair enough?   

Hypnosis
I wonder ____.

Isn’t it wonderful to wonder? Of course, when I wonder, you have to process the meaning of what I’m wondering about. I wonder if you’ll just forget that you ever had that problem. I wonder what it will be like for you to take a fresh new outlook on this situation. I wonder how quickly you’ll begin to hear these patterns appear spontaneously in your language.

Week 20 – Patterns

You are the big “I am”

You are the big “I am”. We all become what we think about, and one of the quickest ways to increase what’s possible for you is by using “I am”.

Want to feel good more of the time? Be fitter? Richer? Happier? Use the power of “I am”. “I am fabulously wealthy.” “I am joyfully happy.” “I am effortlessly attractive.”

Say one of these affirmations, notice whatever thoughts or feelings come up, then accept them (for added impact, say them into a mirror). Remember, there is only now, and people like what’s familiar. If the “I ams” you’ve been using so far aren’t working out for you (Eg. I am unsuccessful, poor, unlucky) you might like to change them.

If you want to be wealthy, it won’t happen until your neurology gets comfortable with the idea that you’re wealthy. Want to be persistently happy? That will happen when you get comfortable with it (today is practice for tomorrow, remember?). So start getting familiar with it right away – you are the big “I am”, and you always have been!     

Hypnosis
Welcome to the Hypnotic Language Course. This week’s pattern is:

I don’t know if you’ve already begun to notice ____.

I don’t know, so there’s only you that can. I don’t know if you’ve already begun to notice certain sensations in your body.  I don’t know if you’ve already begun to notice your eyelids starting to become heavier.  I don’t know if you’ve already begun to notice the positive effects of using these cards.

Coaching
Is there anything you might lose as a result of getting [goal]?

Ideally, when a person achieves their goal they retain the positive aspects of the current situation. Otherwise, the unconscious may fight against achieving it (no-one likes to lose good stuff). You can also ask the following: Are there any good reasons not to change? or Does [goal] keep the positive aspects of the current situation? When you retain the positive aspects of the current situation, it’s easier to achieve the goal. Is there anything you might lose as a result of getting this promotion? “My work colleagues might not want to hang out with me anymore.” 
Influence
You can _____ because _____.

“Because” is a magic influence word, because people love having reasons for things. Studies show that people are much more likely to comply with a request if they’re given a reason why they should. The reason doesn’t even have to make logical sense! You can leave a message at the tone, because I return all calls. You can relax about the price, because we offer very reasonable payment terms. You can learn fast using these cards, because they’ve been designed with your learning in mind.

Week 19 Patterns

Coaching
What would [getting what you want] do for you?

People are often clear about a goal, but not about what achieving that goal would give them or do for them. You can help bring it into consciousness. “I want to be rich.” What would being rich do for you? “I want to start my own business.” What would starting your own business do for you? You can repeat the question to reveal deeper values. “I want a new house.” What would having a new house do for you? “Give me my own space.” And what would having your own space do for you? “I’d have freedom.” What will learning these questions do for you?  

Happiness
Everything is perfect in this moment

Of course, this can’t really be true, can it? But you can, if you choose, believe that all is well. That doesn’t mean that things can’t be changed, improved, altered or in some way bettered. It merely means that right now, in this moment, things are the way they are, and it’s all good.

After all, what the thinker thinks, the prover proves. If a person goes around believing that everything’s perfect in this moment, they can relax, and focus on how they’d like to make things even better.

“Better than perfect?” I hear you ask. Well, part of what makes this moment perfect is that you are in it, and that includes all your creative genius (I know you may not think you’re creative, but remember, you are more than you think you are). Follow your intuitive impulses – if you want something to be different, maybe that’s a sign that you’re the one to do it. And you can do it with a joyful energy when you remember everything’s perfect in this moment.     

Hypnosis
I don’t know exactly how ____.

Not exactly, but it’s going to happen. I don’t know exactly how you’re going to go into a trance. I don’t know exactly how you’ll find these learnings helping you the most. I don’t know exactly how you’re going to use these patterns. That’s for you to find out.

Influence
It’s easy to _____ when _____, isn’t it?

Isn’t it nice to know that things can be easy, under certain conditions. It’s easy to make a quick decision when you see just what you’re looking for, isn’t it? It’s easy to forget about going anywhere else when you’re looking at a suit as beautiful as this, isn’t it? It’s easy to do something spontaneous when the conditions are perfect for it, isn’t it?

Week 17 Patterns

Influence
 
It’s OK not to _____.

When you feel under pressure to do something, then get told it’s OK not to, it can be such a relief. Such a relief, in fact, that sometimes you decide to do it anyway. Of your own free will. It’s OK not to make a decision today. It’s OK not to take me to the movies tonight. It’s OK not to buy me a slap up meal. Oh, what’s that? You’d like to? Well go right ahead, that’s OK too!

Hypnosis
I could say ____, but  ____.

I could say it, but I’m not going to, so it won’t ruffle your feathers. Except I already did! I could say you have all the
answers already within you, but you already know that. I could say that you will make these changes quickly and easily, but it’s going to be a few enjoyable minutes before you know it to be true. I could say that these cards will massively enhance your skills, but you are already recognising that, aren’t you?

Coaching
What are you like when you’re at your best?

This question helps people access their inner resources, and it’s good to start a coaching session from a resourceful place. What are you like when you’re at your best? In order to answer the question, the person accesses the state (at least to some degree), and may give you key words like “focused” or “relaxed”.You can use these to help re-access the state later. 

What you resist persists

What you resist persists. Why is that? Because what you focus on increases, and resistance is a great way of focusing on something (remember, you can’t do a don’t).

Some people spend their whole lives running away from certain feelings and experiences, but what they resist persists, so the faster they run, the closer those things get.

But you can stop running.

I used to worry that my business would fail and I would have to get a regular job. Then one day I told myself it would be OK if I got a job. I felt better immediately, and the likelihood of me having to get a job diminished.

Stop for a moment, and ask yourself what you’ve been resisting. Then ask yourself what would happen if you accepted that rather than resisting it. There is nothing to fear, so when you stop resisting and accept the feelings that come up, you may feel a sense of peace and freedom. What you resist persists.