Week 17 – Patterns

Influence It’s not important that _____, what’s important is that _____. When I say “It’s not important”, you can relax, because I’m not trying to persuade you to do something. Alternatively, you might go “Oh yeah? I’ll decide what is and isn’t important!” Fine, go right ahead. Either way, this pattern’s great for embedding commands. It’s not important that you buy this xxx, what’s important is that you buy the xxx that’s right for you. It’s not important that you hire me for this job, what’s important is that you’ve found the right person. You can even point at yourself as you say this, just to make sure their unconscious gets the message. Hypnosis: How would it feel if you ____? The ‘would’ makes it theoretical, so it’s safe to go there. But you can change the tense part way through for extra oomph. How would it feel if you suddenly resolve to stop smoking? How would it feel if you find a new way of perceiving this problem? How would it feel if you fully master these patterns? You can accept yourself exactly as you are You can accept yourself exactly as you are. Acceptance is the WD40 of growth, development & results. Some people say “But if I accept myself exactly as I am, I’ll stay at home all day eating cake and swell to the size of my living room.” Experience shows that this is not the case. When you accept yourself as you are, your neurology relaxes, and the process of change, growth and development becomes easier. Stop, and say to yourself “I accept myself exactly as I am”, and notice what happens. Some people immediately get a sense of peace and calm, while others experience internal arguments and discomfort. Whatever happens for you, don’t fight it; accept it. Some people use the headline of ‘positive thinking’ to deny the reality of the current situation. This makes matters worse. Acceptance is the opposite of denial. Paradoxically, when you accept things as they are in this moment (including yourself), you put yourself in the most powerful position to create change. If you are finding something particularly difficult to accept, accept that you’ve been finding it difficult. If you get captured by strong emotions, accept that. You can accept yourself exactly as you are. Coaching: If you could wave a magic wand and ______, what would you see? The magic wand gives a person permission to think about what they want instead of the problem. If you could wave a magic wand and solve this problem, what would you see? This invites them to visualise the ’solution state’. If you could wave a magic wand and create the level of health and fitness you desire, what would you see? When people imagine something, it engages their unconscious mind.You can ask what they’d see, feel and hear if you want to really go for it!

Week 16 Patterns

Influence
As you consider the benefits of _____, you might like to _____.

This is classic redirection. The “As you consider” presupposes that you’re already doing that, and your consicous attention is directed to the second half of the sentence. As you consider the benefits of deciding to work with our company, you might like to cast an eye over our client list. As you consider the benefits of a decision to buy this apartment, you might like to watch the sun setting over the hills. As you consider the benefits of choosing to play with these patterns every day, you might like to think about who you’re going to test them with.
Hypnosis
How quickly can you ____?

I’m not asking if you can, just how quickly you can. How quickly can you start to notice the effects of trance? How quickly can you become aware of the changes you’re making at an unconscious level? How quickly can you imagine really seeing the benefits of learning these patterns?

All is well; there is nothing to fear.
I know this may come as a shock to you, but everything’s OK. Having said that, it’s still a good idea to wear a seatbelt. But it’s worth reminding yourself that you’ve managed to come through everything that’s ever happened in your life.

You’re the spearhead of evolution. Some people worry about death, but it’s perfectly safe; organisms of one sort or another have been doing it for billions of years

Fears, worries and anxieties only come when a person imagines unpleasant things in the past or the future. When you allow yourself to get into the present, then suddenly you realise that all is well; there is nothing to fear.    
Coaching
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Many people are held back by a fear of failure, often so much so that they close the door on their dreams. This question opens that door. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? “I’d learn to speak Spanish.” What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? “I’d go to university.” A powerful alternative is What would you do if you knew it was OK to fail?

Week 15 Patterns

Coaching

What’s important to you in / about ______?

Everyone has values, things which are important to them (eg. freedom, security, adventure). But people also have values within a given context, called criteria. What’s important to you in your work? “Helping people, doing a good job, and getting paid.” What’s important to you in a relationship? “Honesty, trust and respect.” Criteria are context-dependent, and a person’s specific words and phrases are ‘hot buttons’ you can use to build rapport, motivation etc. What’s important to you about learning these questions?  

Influence Language Course.
Can I ask you to _____.

I’m asking permission – how polite! Of course, by the time I’ve asked you, you’ve processed the request. And if I’ve invited you to do something ‘internal, you’ve already started doing it, just by listening to my question! Can I ask you to imagine how you would feel when you’re sailing this boat? Can I ask you to hear what your boss would say when you tell him you’ve exceeded your targets by 20%? Can I ask you to wonder to yourself just how skilled it’s possible for you to become. I’m just asking! 

You are the spearhead of evolution
You are the spearhead of evolution. Think about it – you’ve survived for long enough on this planet to read this tip, which means you are extraordinarily super. In fact, you come from a long line of ancestors who managed to survive and have kids too! All the lessons of those countless years of evolution have been encoded in your brilliant neurology.

You are so much more than you think you are (even when you keep this idea in mind!) So you can allow your idea of yourself to begin to open up. You might even become curious about just how much more is possible for you than you previously thought. How much more money, success, leisure time, fun and adventure? How much more joy, happiness, freedom, fulfillment and love?

Fill your boots! You are the spearhead of evolution.    

Hypnosis
How does it feel when you ____?

How does it feel? It’s a fair question, and in order to find out, you have to do what I’ve asked. How does it feel when you allow yourself to relax deeply? How does it feel when you get in touch with the part of your body that feels the best? How does it feel when you imagine using these patterns skilfully?

Wek 14 Patterns

Hypnosis,

Eventually ____.

Eventually is such a non-specific word, that you can imagine almost anything happening, eventually. Eventually, you will find ways to make sense of these events. Eventually, you will let that troublesome habit just slip away. Eventually, these patterns will trip off your tongue as easily as your name.
Influence Language Course.
I know that [fact]. I also know that [benefit].

If I tell you a fact that I know about your situation, and you agree, it increases the chance of you agreeing with the next thing I claim to know. Even if the next thing is a mind-read rather than a fact. I know that you have a sales force of 500 people. I also know that you’d welcome the opportunity to increase their productivity by 10%. I know that you are a very busy person. I also know that you’re the sort of person who’s willing to invest some time to increase your effectiveness. I know that you’re reading this card. I also know that you can start to think of the ways that you can use this pattern.

Coaching Language Course.

What would it mean if you were not ______ about that?

Many people believe the only response to certain events is to be angry, frightened, or unhappy. This question challenges that belief and opens their mind to alternatives. “I’m worried that I might go bankrupt.” What would it mean if you were not worried about that? “It would mean that I know everything will be alright, whatever happens.” Sometimes it reveals a limiting belief. “No matter what I do, I can’t lose weight.” What would it mean if you were not unhappy about that? “It would mean I don’t care about myself.” How does being happy mean you don’t care about yourself? “Uh…it doesn’t…”  

There is only now

Time doesn’t really exist – it’s just an idea. The past is an idea (called a memory) and the future’s an idea too (called a plan or a fantasy). The present is all that exists, but that’s OK, because that’s where you are at present.

Stop for a minute and allow yourself to get in touch with this moment. Whenever you’ve accomplished anything worthwhile, it’s been in the present. All your moments of tremendous insight have also taken place in the present. As you think of all the experiences of great pleasure you’ve had in your life, when they happened, it was now. This is why today is practice for tomorrow – because our neurology always thinks it’s now!

So what ‘now’ are you getting more familiar with? What now are you practicing. By the way, 99.9% of fears relate to either the past or the future. As the past and future don’t exist, you can relax; there’s nothing to fear. There is only now.

Week 12 Patterns

Hypnosis

Can you imagine ____?

Can you imagine it? You have to do it to find out if you can or not. Can you imagine going into the deepest trance you’ve ever experienced? Can you imagine waking up to find that this problem has just disappeared? Can you imagine being able to develop unconscious competence with hypnotic language patterns?

Influence

Imagine how good you’ll feel when you _____.

The unconscious doesn’t distinguish between a real experience and a vividly imagined one. So engage their imagination! Imagine how good you’ll feel when you’re relaxing by the pool in your very own villa. Imagine how good you’ll feel when you have finally resolved this productivity issue. Imagine how good you’ll feel when you’ve proved to yourself that you can use these patterns skilfully.

Nature always fills a vacuum

Nature always fills a vacuum, so it’s important to make space for whatever you want to bring into your life. This applies not only to the more tangible physical things such as money, furniture and pies. It also applies to relationships, ideas and even emotions. If a person is full of bitterness and resentment, there isn’t much room for joy and happiness.

For this reason, it can be useful to examine what you want to bring into your life, then ensure that there’s room for it. If in your business you want to increase your client base, do you have the capacity to handle it? If you want to get some exciting new clothes for the summer, is there room in your closet?

Some people even go as far as creating a deliberate vacuum, such as giving money away to charity in order to create space for more money (we’ll explore later why approaches such as this and others like it can be so powerful). For the meantime, just remember that nature always fills a vacuum.  

Coaching

How specifically?

Verbs are ‘doing’ words, so you can ask for more information about the doing. This gives you a more complete understanding of what’s going on in someone’s map of the world. “She was mean to me.” How specifically was she mean? “This business is having a rough ride.” How specifically is it having a rough ride? You can even use it with negatives. “He isn’t performing well.” How specifically isn’t he performing well?