Week 11 – Patterns

Coaching

How do you know?

You can ask “How do you know?” when someone claims knowledge of their own internal state. When you do, they a) disassociate from it and b) run the process of how they know it to be true. This can provide great (non-verbal) information. “I’m depressed.” How do you know? When people answer this type of question, they reveal their beliefs, and give you more to work with. “I’m a failure.” How do you know? “Because I didn’t hit target last month.” Then you can challenge the belief. How does not hitting target last month make you a failure?

Influence
Some people say to me [objection] but I know that _____.

When you can predict the objection you’re likely to get, you can overturn it in advance. Just state their objection in a painfully whiny tonality, then use a pleasant tone of voice to tell them what to think. Some people say to me “It’s so expensive”, but I know that you already realise what a sound investment you’re making. Some people say to me “It’s not the right time for this”, but I know that your company isn’t willing to hide its head in the sand. Some people say to me “It’s hard to practice these patterns” but I know that you appreciate the value of the skills you’re building.

: ))
Tip 11 – You are more than you think you are

You are more than you think you are. There’s an old saying, “The map is not the territory”. A map of New York is not the city of New York , doesn’t contain all the sounds, sights and smells that the city does (thank goodness!). The city is far bigger, richer and more vibrant than could ever be conveyed by a map.

A person’s map of who they are (their self-concept) is not who they really are. You are far more powerful, capable and amazing than your map of yourself.

Just stop for a moment, and think about who you are, what your qualities are, your weaknesses and strengths. Then realise that there is more to you than you are aware of. You are more than you think you are.

Hypnosis
By the time you’ve started to ____, you’ll …

By the time you’ve started to? When exactly is that? I don’t know, but by the time you’ve started to discover that, the suggestion’s already gone in.  By the time you’ve started to notice just how far you’ve come, you’ll be really excited about the changes you’ve made. By the time you’ve started to hear these patterns cropping up in your day-to-day speech, you’ll really know you’ve learned them well.

Trustworthiness:

Vendor reliability:

Privacy:

Child safety:

Week 10 Patterns

Hypnosis
A person might, you know,  ____.

A person might, and that person might be you, and the ‘you know’ makes it almost seem like I know what you are thinking. A person might, you know, relax deeply into a trance. A person might, you know, get a whole new perspective on this situation. A person might, you know, find these patterns emerging in many aspects of your communication.

Coaching
How does ______ cause ______?

People like reasons for things, and those reasons often signal the presence of a belief. If it’s a limiting belief, you can challenge it. “I can’t learn to be a coach because I wouldn’t be able to justify it.” How does being unable to justify it cause you not to learn it? “We have staff motivation problems because telesales is difficult.” How does telesales being challenging make it hard to motivate your people? When you ask this question, people have to re-examine the meaning-making process they used to create and maintain the idea: sometimes it starts to shift right away!

Influence
People who have already decided to _____, [name], agree _____.

It’s those people again. And the word “agree” becomes the first word of a command, a tough one to disobey when it comes right after your name. People who have already decided to work with our company, ???, agree that the results we deliver are second to none. People who have already decided to purchase this product, ???, agree that this is a fantastic deal. People who have already decided to study every day, ???, agree that this is the best way to do it.

What the thinker thinks, the prover proves

What the thinker thinks, the prover proves. The human mind can be viewed as having two main functions: a thinker and a prover. The thinker can think anything. The prover has no such choice: whatever the thinker thinks, the prover arranges all incoming information to prove that thought to be true.

If a person believes they are stupid, their prover will sort and filter all incoming data to prove that belief to be true. If they believe they are clever, the prover will sort and filter incoming data to prove that belief true. If you believe you will always be poor, that life is unfair, and that people are basically rotten, your prover will find evidence of those beliefs. If you believe that that you can become fantastically wealthy, that life is a wonderful adventure, and that people are intrinsically good, your prover will create an iron clad case to prove those beliefs to be correct.

Of course, over time, the external reality of your life comes into line with whatever you’ve been thinking. So if you’re unsure about what you believe, there’s an easy way to find out: have a look around! Your external circumstances are the physical manifestation of your beliefs.

You might even like to ask yourself what beliefs it would be useful for you to have. What the thinker thinks, the prover proves.

Week 9 Patterns

The sooner you _____, the sooner you _____.

The sooner you X, the sooner you Y – it makes a connection that may not previously have been evident. The sooner you make this decision, the sooner you’ll realise the benefits. The sooner you start tidying your room, the sooner you can play with your toys. The sooner you learn this pattern, the sooner you can start finding out just how much more influential you’ve become.

You can trust the universe. How do I know? I’ll explain later.

For the moment, bear in mind that the universe has provided you with every breath of air you’ve breathed, ever drop of water you’ve drunk, and every meal you’ve eaten. Everything that you’ve brought into your life has been supplied by the universe.

You may argue that it’s been supplied by God, Nature, or Your Unconscious etc. That’s fine with me, call it what you like. The point is that you can trust this limitless supply. You can trust the universe.

A person may not know ____.

A person may not know. But in order to find out whether you’re a person who does, or a person who doesn’t, you have to go inside and find out, by which time it’s too late. You can even add a you/your to make it a bit more personal and spacey. A person may not know how deep of a trance you’re already in. A person may not know exactly how your unconscious will signal that it’s already made these changes. A person may not know when you will next use this pattern.