Week 8 Patterns

Hypnosis

A person is able to ____.
Which person? The unconscious assumes it’s you. A person is able to enjoy relaxing deeply. A person is able to develop an internal focus of attention. A person is able to enjoy a certain facility with language.

Influence
It’s good to _____, isn’t it?

If I say something’s good, and then follow it up with an “isn’t it”, then as long as what I’ve said isn’t too objectionable, you’re likely to agree. And once you start agreeing, it’s good to keep agreeing, isn’t it? It’s good to imagine all the benefits this is going to give you, isn’t it? It’s good to get the best value for money, isn’t it? It’s good to know that you’re learning rapidly, isn’t it?

Coaching
How does ______ mean ______?

There are two main ways that beliefs show up in language: ‘A means B’ or ‘A causes B’. When someone says that A means B, they are expressing a belief, so you can gather more information and enrich their model of the world. “I don’t have a ???. I’m ???.” How does not having a ??? mean you’re ???? “I’m ???. I’m not ???” How does the fact that you’re ??? mean that you’re not attractive to ???? Beliefs travel in packs, so be warned! When you ask this question, you will often uncover more of them.

Happiness
Willingness is the key.

While today is practice for tomorrow, sometimes habits and beliefs can have a powerful hold, and it can seem like they’ll never go. Willingness is the key. Are you willing to have what you desire? Are you willing to let go of your old way of doing or thinking? Some people ask “Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want?” It’s not that you end up having to do whatever it takes, but rather the quality of willingness that unlocks the door. If you really like adventures, here’s an interesting affirmation to try on for size: “I am willing that my present and future be totally unlike my past.” Willingness is the key.

Week 7 – Patterns

Influence

I understand how you feel. [Person] felt that, but they found ____.

This is a simple yet elegant way to overturn objections. First it paces the objection, then smoothly uses a ‘mini-story’ to make it safe for the person to change their mind. For a price objection: I understand how you feel; Mr ??? felt the same way, but he found that the amount of money he’s saved in maintenance alone has justified the investment. I understand how you feel; ??? Ltd felt the same way, but they found the increased performance more than justified the decision to buy this product.

Hypnosis

A person doesn’t have to, [name], ____.

And because I’m saying they don’t have to, you’re perfectly safe to imagine doing what it is. A person doesn’t have to, ???, relax completely. A person doesn’t have to, ???, imagine slipping into a deep, relaxing trance. A person doesn’t have to, ???, imagine practicing these patterns every single day.

Coaching
What would happen if you did / could?

People often signal limiting beliefs with the words “I can’t”. When you ask this question, they step beyond their limited model of what’s possible for them. “I can’t start my own business.” What would happen if you did? “We can’t reach our target market.” What would happen if you could? An added bonus: before they answer, the person will often imagine what would happen if they did. You can observe external evidence of this in eye movements, gestures etc. “I can’t visualise properly.” What would happen if you did?

Today is practice for tomorrow

Today is practice for tomorrow. People like what’s familiar, remember? Whatever you’re doing today is becoming more familiar, so if you want to go somewhere new in your life, you need to start getting familiar with that.

Is what you’re practicing today about where you’ve been, or where you want to be? Practice feeling how you’ll feel and doing what you’ll do when you get where you’re going. Today is practice for tomorrow

Week 6 – Patterns

Coaching

Always? Even when _____ [Never, Everyone, All etc]

When people generalise an experience to being true under all circumstances, they use universal quantifiers – words like ‘always’ and ‘never’. You can ‘break’ the generalisation by repeating the word as a question, then giving a counterexample. “He’s always late.” Always? Has he never been on time even once? “My wife never listens to me.” Never? Not even when you tell her you’ve got a surprise for her? Make the counterexample as extreme or ridiculous as possible. “I’m always unmotivated” Always? Even when you really need the toilet?

People like what’s familiar

People like what’s familiar; after all, what you did yesterday worked well enough to keep you alive until today. This is a big success as far as evolution is concerned, so we are naturally inclined to use old habits of behaviour and thought.

When you’ve been doing something new for a while (whether it’s going to the gym, tidying your desk or changing your thinking) its typically smooth sailing until you start to change. Then your nervous system sets off the alarm bells, and you start to feel like you can’t be bothered to do it anymore.

This is the signal that it’s working. When you feel that ‘can’t be bothered’ feeling, pat yourself on the back. What you’re doing is working, and you’ve got evidence. Then do it. People like what’s familiar.

Hypnosis

A person could ____.

A person? Which person? The unconscious will assume it applies to the person you say it to. A person could open their eyes to new experiences. A person could close their eyes and relax. A person could allow the unconscious to integrate these patterns.

That’s the pattern! You can listen to me explain and demonstrate hypnotic language patterns  here

Influence

[person or company] told me “____”.

I’m not telling you, I’m just reporting what they told me, so there’s no need to resist. One of our other clients told me “The value for money we offer is second to none.” When I first joined the company, my boss told me “Choose us and you’ll be glad you did for years to come.” My friend ??? once told me “You’ve waited long enough; it’s time to make a decision” and I’ve always been grateful for his advice. One of my mentors once told me “Practice these patterns every day”, so I did!

Week 5 – Patterns

Coaching

How do you know?

When people claim to know what others are thinking, it’s called ‘mindreading’. When you ask How do you know? they have to re-connect with the world of experience. Often, they don’t actually know – they’ve hallucinated it. “??? doesn’t like me.” How do you know? “I don’t fit in with the people at my new job.” How do you know? Sometimes people are quite insistent! “??? only want one thing.” I’m wondering how you know that. “I just do!” Oh, I’m sure you do, and I’m just curious about the process of how you know.

Persuasion
____, isn’t it? (doesn’t it? aren’t they? won’t you? etc)

“Isn’t it” is called a tag question, and it makes a sentence difficult to disagree with. Other examples are “doesn’t it”, “aren’t they”, “won’t you” etc. It’s easy to make a quick decision when you see just what you’re looking for, isn’t it. People feel good about getting a good deal, don’t they? It’s good to know that we can find the right package for you, isn’t it?

Language

A person can ____.

A person can. I’m not saying who, so your unconscious assumes I mean you. A person can relax easily. A person can get in touch with their own creativity. A person can find imaginative ways to use this pattern with others.Gratitude is the manifestation turbo-charger

Gratitude is the manifestation turbo-charger. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful feelings for bringing what you desire into your life.

When a person thinks about the things, people and experiences that they’re grateful for, their awareness of the good in their life increases, and they start to feel good. What you focus on increases, so the more you feel good about all there is to be grateful for, the more will show up.

You could make a list right now of some of the things you’re grateful for, and then think about it any time you accidentally start to worry about what you haven’t got. Gratitude is the manifestation turbo-charger.