Week 35 Patterns

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Like attracts like

Like attracts like. People who spend their time feeling fearful attract fearful events into their lives. People who spend their time feeling happy attract happy events.

People are like tuning forks – the frequency they vibrate at activates other things vibrating at that frequency. The feelings you feel create a resonance that will attract people, things and situations that resonate at the same frequency.

Does this mean bad things never happen to happy people? No; but notice how they respond to bad things. Don’t like the things you’ve been attracting? Change how you feel. What you focus on increases (focus equals thought plus emotion). Practice feeling happy, and you will attract happy events. Practice feeling wealthy and you will attract wealth.

Emotions are amplifiers. Like attracts like.

Coaching
What will you do when you have enough ______?

Necessity is a powerful driver. In fact, many people are so driven by what they feel they have to do, that they don’t focus on what they want to do. What will you do when you have enough money? This is often a brand new area for someone to explore, and can bring up a powerful sense of possibility. What will you do when you have enough time? 

Influence
You’re interested in [benefit], aren’t you?

You’re interested in becoming irresistibly influential, aren’t you? One of the keys is to guide people’s awareness where you want it to go, starting with the issues, wants or needs you’re going to address, and the specific benefits they will get. You’re interested in having more free time, aren’t you? You’re interested in increasing your inc^me, aren’t you? It has the added bonus of getting people comfortable with responding “yes” to the things you say, and you’re interested in people saying yes to you, aren’t you?     

HYpnosis
People can, [name], ____.

Which people specifically? Why you of course. People can, Peter, relax deeply. People can, Jane, imagine being fit and healthy. People can, Emma, learn these patterns thoroughly.

Week 34 Patterns

Influence
You may already be aware of [benefit] when you _____.

You may already be aware of it, and you may not. Either way, I’m presupposing the “it” is true. You may already be aware of our award-winning customer service you get when you become our client. You may already be aware of the sense of accomplishment you’ll get when you do this job. You may already be aware of the amazing results you’re going to get when you master this pattern.      
Hypnosis
People can ____ because…

Which people? People like you. And why? Because they’ve got a reason to. People can go into a deep trance because it’s a natural state of consciousness. People can discover powerful inner resources because your unconscious is a storehouse of memories, learnings and possibilities. People can practice these patterns thoroughly because practice is the mother of all skill.

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You create your experience of reality

You create your experience of reality. Does this mean that if you slip on a banana skin, you created the banana skin? No. But it does mean that you created the circumstances where you could slip on it.

Does this mean that everything bad that ever happened to you is your fault? No. But your experience of reality is your responsibility. If you slip on a banana skin, you can choose the role of victim (I am being punished by the universe / Why me? / Which *&$%£ left that there) or as a responsible adult (What can I learn from this? / How can I avoid this happening again? ).

It’s up to you – what the thinker thinks, the prover proves. Experience shows that people who take responsibility for their experiences are happier, more successful and more fulfilled. But it does come at a price. You need to give up being a victim (if you have not already done so).

Either way, it’s up to you. You create your own experience of reality.

Coaching
What’s the worst thing for you about that?

Like a scalpel, or dynamite, this question should be used very carefully, and only when there is strong rapport between coach and client. It uncovers the ‘negative’ feelings that drive fears, worries and compulsions. When they are brought into consciousness and accepted, the results can be liberating. What do you want? “To be an artist.” What stops you? “My parents would be disappointed in me.” And what would be the worst thing for you about that? “Feeling I’d let them down.” And what would be the worst thing for you about that? When the feelings come up, help the person to accept them.

Week 33 – Patterns

Coaching
How do you know when to [problem or challenge]?

People are patterned in their thinking and behaviour, and those patterns have a beginning, middle and an end. You can uncover the steps in the process, then use that information to change the process. “I want to stop procrastinating.” How do you know when to procrastinate? “I want to go to the gym, but I always change my mind and watch TV.” How do you know when to change your mind? Most people have never thought about this, and it can help to get more specific about when the process starts, and how it works. 

Influence
This may not be relevant to you, but [benefit].

When I say this may not be relevant to you, you start to pay close attention so you can check whether it is or not. Plus, if I say it may not be relevant, some people go “Oh yeah? Maybe it is relevant!” This may not be relevant to you, but our clients typically get 20% more sales by using our services. This may not be relevant to you, but studies show that when you buy this car, you’re getting the safest vehicle on the road. This may not be relevant to you, but our research suggests that people become far more influential when they use these cards regularly.       

Hypnosis
People are able to ____.

I’m not saying which people, but your unconscious is likely to assume I’m talking about you. People are able to imagine innovative solutions to their own problems. People are able to enjoy eating when they’re hungry and stopping when they’re full. People are able to find fun ways to use these patterns in conversations.

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There is no good reason to be unhappy.

“Nonsense!” I hear you shout. “What about death, war, famine and the like?” Grief is a natural response to loss, and it’s important to feel your feelings. In fact, you can feel good about feeling your feelings – many people are numb to them.

But some people believe the only response to certain events is to be angry, frightened, or unhappy. If you are unhappy about something, you can ask youself “What would it mean if I were not unhappy about this?” This question challenges the belief that unhappiness is the only appropriate response and opens the mind to alternatives.

It might even be instructive to consider the possibility that happiness is your ‘default’ setting; that behind all the struggle and striving is a core state of happiness, waiting patiently for you to relax back into it.

Confused? What would it mean if you were OK with that? There is no good reason to be unhappy.

Week 32 – Patterns

Influence
By now, _____.

“By” is such an ambiguous word, and so perfectly suited for sales. By now, you can recognise what makes our proposal so compelling. By now, you’re probably beginning to imagine how impressed your colleagues are going to be. By now, you may already have started to think of all the ways you can feel good spending the money we’re going to save you. Bye now!         

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There is only one problem, and it doesn’t exist

There is only one problem, and it doesn’t exist. The one problem is the idea that there are problems; that all is not well.

Just like something only becomes a piece of art when someone puts a frame around it, something only becomes a problem when someone describes it as such. The basic structure of a problem is this “Things are not as they are meant to be, and I cannot be happy until they are put right.” But this is a lie.

It is possible to be happy, regardless of the situation; start by accepting the reality of the current situation. This is not to say there is no room for improvement. There are many things in the world which can be improved, many situations which can be bettered, and if you want to do so, I suggest you do. But start from the position of knowing that everything is already OK.

What you focus on increases, and your ability to create the external circumstances of wellbeing start on the inside, knowing that all is well, that there is nothing to fear.

There is only one problem, and it doesn’t exist.

Hypnosis
One of the things ____ is …

When I mention one of the things, it presupposes that there are others. One of the things you can enjoy about going into a trance is the sense of comfort and relaxation you’ll feel. One of the things you’ll appreciate about having resolved those issues is just how good you’ll feel.  One of the things you’ll laugh about once you learn these patterns is just how much fun you can have using them.

Coaching
What happens when you imagine ______?

This question is subtle yet powerful. It is actually an invitation for someone to imagine something they may not previously have thought of. What happens when you imagine yourself being independently wealthy? In order to answer the question, you have to imagine it, and a new possibility has entered your consciousness. What happens when you imagine yourself using these questions elegantly?

Week 30 – Patterns

Hypnosis,

Maybe you’ll ____.

Maybe you will, and maybe you won’t. I’m just stating a possibility. Maybe you’ll discover a new level of awareness. Maybe you’ll get in touch with your innermost self. Maybe you’ll … for all your friends. It’s just a thought – keep it in mind!

Coaching
I’m wondering…, I’m curious to know…etc

Questions can sometimes seem intrusive, so rapport is essential. ‘Softeners’ can help make the questions seem smoother and less abrupt. I’m wondering what it is that you want to achieve? I’m curious to know how you know that? I’d like to ask you what’s been frustrating you? I wonder if you can tell me how the market is causing your business challenges?

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Don’t feed the illusion – instead, know that all is well. Fear is an illusion – if you fight it, you feed it. Don’t feed the illusion.

Stop for a moment and consider the fact that all the worries you had in the past didn’t prevent you from getting to where you are today. And in this moment, all is well. You are breathing, reading, aware. There was nothing to fear – you only thought there was.

In fact, people are only ever afraid of feelings. Fear is a feeling based on an illusion – the idea that all is not well. People are afraid of two things; they’ll lose what they’ve got, or they wont get what they want. But when you realise that you can’t lose anything (because people aren’t afraid of losing things, but of how they’d feel if they lost it) and you can have whatever you want (because people don’t want things so much as the feelings they give them), then you will also realise that there’s nothing to fear.

Fear is an illusion – if you fight it, you feed it. Don’t feed the illusion – instead, know that all is well. 

Influence
I’m not going to tell you _____.

I say I’m not going to tell you it, so you can take it easy. Then, while you’re taking it easy, I tell you. I’m not going to tell you to give me a ridiculously low price on this, because I don’t want to put you in a difficult position. I’m not going to tell you to think of all the money you’ll save if you follow our advice. I’m not going to tell you to play with these cards every day, because it’s not my place to do that. So I’m not. Really!

Week 29 – Patterns

Influence
Sooner or later, _____.

Sooner or later. Does that just about cover it? Sooner or later pretty much everything happens, one way or another. Sooner or later, your company will have to deal with this issue. Sooner or later, you’ll realise that now is the perfect time to take advantage of this offer. Sooner or later, you’ll really start to notice these patterns emerging in your language.       

Hypnosis
Maybe you haven’t ____ yet.

Maybe you have and maybe you haven’t. The negation is great for people whose natural urge is to resist, and if you have, well that’s just my mistake. And the yet presumes it will happen in the future. Maybe you haven’t opened to the unlimited possibilities within you yet. Maybe you haven’t thought of all the ways you can enjoy becoming slim and healthy yet. Maybe you haven’t imagined all the ways you can use these patterns yet you can begin to now.
Coaching
How do you stop yourself?

It takes a lot of energy for a person to keep a problem in place. This question subtly presupposes that they are the one with the power. “I can’t seem to get organised.” How do you stop yourself? People will often identify changes they can make immediately to stop stopping themselves! “No matter what I do, I don’t seem to be able to lose weight.” How do you stop yourself from losing weight? When the person starts to consider this question, they begin to claim back the power they’ve used to hold the problem in place.

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You can have whatever you want

You can have whatever you want. How do I know? Because people don’t want things so much as the feelings the things will give them. And you already have those.

The great thing is, the more you practice feeling the feelings, the more the things and experiences you desire will be attracted towards you (as if to a magnet).

Don’t believe me? Let me ask you this – what feelings have you been feeling over the past months and years? And what has been attracted into your life? See what I mean?

Feel how you’ll feel when you’ve got what you want, and you’ll realise you can have whatever you want.

Week 28 – Patterns

Hypnosis
Isn’t it nice to know ____?

Isn’t it nice to know you can integrate these learnings at the speed that’s best for you? It’s so easy to agree with that you just want to nod. Isn’t it nice to know your unconscious has the answers to all the questions you’ll ever ask? Isn’t it nice to know you have all the resources you need already within you?

Influence
When people like yourself, [name], _____, they _____.

We’re not saying who, exactly, just that they’re people like yourself. And the fact that they’re like you means you’re more likely to trust their opinion. And there’s a great opportunity to get an embedded command in just after the name. When people like yourself, Peter, come on this training course, they experience a profound increase in their abilities. When people like yourself, Jenny, come and work for our company, they feel right at home. When people like yourself, Neville, tell everyone how great these cards are, they feel a deep sense of satisfaction. Really!       

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Happiness Tip 28 – You can’t lose anything

You can’t lose anything. This is great news!

People are afraid of two things; that they’ll lose what they’ve got, and that they won’t get what they want. But people aren’t really afraid of losing things, but of how they would feel if it happened. The great news is that feelings don’t mean anything, so it’s perfectly safe to feel them.

I mean it – it’s perfectly safe! When you actually experience the feeling of how you’d feel if you lost what you don’t want to lose, you’ll realise this is absolutely true. Hooray! You can’t lose anything.

Coaching
This week’s pattern is:
Which / what / who specifically?

People often use words which are not specific about who or what they mean. “They always take advantage.” Who specifically takes advantage? “Nobody listens to the things I say.” Who specifically doesn’t listen to which things you say? This question helps the listener get a better understanding of who and what is involved in a situation, and gets the speaker more in touch with reality. “I have trouble reaching goals.” Which goals specifically?

Good Links

http://mashable.com/2007/07/31/facebook-powertools-1/

http://www.insidecrm.com/features/facebook-marketing-toolbox-012308/

http://www.usrbingeek.com/a/000902.php

http://tweetcrunch.com/tag/twitter/

http://www.project66.net/35-tools-to-make-your-social-updates-easy/

http://faves.com/users/peterfranken/tag/twitter

http://www.twitstat.com/cgi-bin/view.pl?search=plugin

Week 19 – Patterns

Coaching
What would [getting what you want] do for you?

People are often clear about a goal, but not about what achieving that goal would give them or do for them. You can help bring it into consciousness. “I want to be rich.” What would being rich do for you? “I want to start my own business.” What would starting your own business do for you? You can repeat the question to reveal deeper values. “I want a new house.” What would having a new house do for you? “Give me my own space.” And what would having your own space do for you? “I’d have freedom.” What will learning these questions do for you?  

Happiness
Everything is perfect in this moment

Of course, this can’t really be true, can it? But you can, if you choose, believe that all is well. That doesn’t mean that things can’t be changed, improved, altered or in some way bettered. It merely means that right now, in this moment, things are the way they are, and it’s all good.

After all, what the thinker thinks, the prover proves. If a person goes around believing that everything’s perfect in this moment, they can relax, and focus on how they’d like to make things even better.

“Better than perfect?” I hear you ask. Well, part of what makes this moment perfect is that you are in it, and that includes all your creative genius (I know you may not think you’re creative, but remember, you are more than you think you are). Follow your intuitive impulses – if you want something to be different, maybe that’s a sign that you’re the one to do it. And you can do it with a joyful energy when you remember everything’s perfect in this moment.     

Hypnosis
I don’t know exactly how ____.

Not exactly, but it’s going to happen. I don’t know exactly how you’re going to go into a trance. I don’t know exactly how you’ll find these learnings helping you the most. I don’t know exactly how you’re going to use these patterns. That’s for you to find out.

Influence
It’s easy to _____ when _____, isn’t it?

Isn’t it nice to know that things can be easy, under certain conditions. It’s easy to make a quick decision when you see just what you’re looking for, isn’t it? It’s easy to forget about going anywhere else when you’re looking at a suit as beautiful as this, isn’t it? It’s easy to do something spontaneous when the conditions are perfect for it, isn’t it?

Week 26 – Patterns

Hypnosis
I don’t know whether ____.

I don’t know, but you’ll know, once you’ve considered the  possibilities. I don’t know whether you’ll start exercising today. I don’t know whether you can feel a tingling sensation in your fingers. I don’t know whether you’ve decided just how deeply you’re going to embed these patterns in your language.
Influence
_____, I said to myself, “_____”.

One of the best people to quote is yourself, because it involves telling a mini-story. Stories get people to ‘take their armour off’, and that’s when your messages can go in most easily. I was once in a situation like yours, and I said to myself, “Just make a decision why don’t you!”, and then everything started to run smoothly. When I first got into this business, I said to myself “You just need to focus on what you want, and everything else will fall into place”, and funnily enough, it did. When I first learned about the langauge of influence, I said to myself, “Use these patterns every day and you’ll be superb in no time”.      

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You don’t need anything

I know this may come as a shock, but think about it. People want feelings, and they already have them (remember, people don’t want things so much as the feelings they think the things will give them). When you feel you need something, or have to do something, it is a compulsion; there is no choice. And as choice goes, so goes the joy of living.

But you can get the choice back by changing the language – instead of “I need X” you can say “I choose X because I want Y”. Once you realise that everything’s a personal choice, then you can party! Once you truly realise this, you’ll also realise that you don’t actually need anything.

The ironic thing is that once you realise that you don’t need anything, you relax, and detach from outcome, and discover that you’re free to have whatever you like. Cool huh?!? What happens when you consider the possibility that you don’t need anything?        

Coaching

If there was a miracle tonight…how would you know?

This is really powerful when someone doesn’t know what they want, or is having trouble imagining a problem being solved. If there was a miracle tonight, and when you woke up tomorrow, everything [in this area of your life/work/business] was exactly as you’d like it to be, how would you know a miracle had occurred? What would you see, hear, feel and believe that would let you know it had happened? Speak slowly and leave pauses to allow the person’s imagination free reign. The miracle frees the mind to go beyond its previously held limitations. This can be…miraculous!